omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
