Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
