Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
