My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
