Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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