Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
