At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
