yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
