My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
