I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
