Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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