well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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