The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
