Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
