I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
