"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
