She said her name was "party"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
