Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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