Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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