He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
