we have officially lost it.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
