He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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