Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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