Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
