i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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