i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
