He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
