Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
