3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
