Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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