making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
