I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
