and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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