Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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