I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
