if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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