I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
