Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
