just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
