I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
