You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
