At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
