dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
