shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Your cock deserves a montage
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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