i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
