eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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