I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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