so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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