Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
