there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
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