It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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